California Bans Offensive Vagrant Signage During the Consumer Holidaze.


"Enough is enough," says Woke California Resident Susie Karmichael when interviewed by BSJK (A totally legit and not completely made up organization). "It's one thing to avoid paying taxes and take up public space, while reminding us of the struggles and neglect of our society..but to not have the common decency to change the signage to "Happy Holidays," there's no excuse for that!" Said Davey Livid. California, the leaders of high tax and low public benefits created an official division dedicated to policing the signage of vagrants. We interviewed Chief Monsonto about the process involved in determining which signs are appropriate for the market and which ones aren't. He had this to say: "Well it's pretty easy we use a mixture of regulations provided by the FCC, as well as Disney's guidelines on what is acceptable and where everyone should stand on certain issues. Anything that is deemed non-family friendly, nor assumes the gender, identity, and/or religious beliefs of an individual is banned." Please feel free to report to your local police department if a sign is inappropriate and unsafe for the market. We are told that all police stations are equipped with the necessary skills to regulate these signs and make sure they're taken off the streets.

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An ever-growing collection of stories, in the harmonious echo of darkness

Background artwork: Michael Yakutis 2019