Drive

I've always had a restless itch, a hole, a void, something which made me feel anxious and unsatisfied. Staying busy, active, and always moving tends to help...but it can be painfully confusing when we are moving without direction. How are we supposed to know that those last 10 miles won't have to be backtracked? Are we moving forward, moving backwards or just traversing side-to-side? Sometimes I felt it was better to not move at all, just sit and wait. Vegetate. Turn off. I've progressed and I've regressed. Over time, I've found no greater enemy than myself. See it doesn't matter how powerful or weak the outside opposition is, if one is internally struggling with the self, the battle is already lost. We are our own greatest ally and our own greatest enemy, it's up to each one of us to recognize which is which and steer things in the right direction. It's taken years and I'm still at odds with myself, but these days I compete with myself, not against myself. Opposition makes us stronger. Remove the opposition and everything comes easy and as they say, "easy come, easy goes." The wind blows and nothing opposes it. As strong as it seems in one moment, it may very well disappear and be forgotten in the next. Sure it can dances with hurricanes and tornadoes, breathe life into fires and cause great destructive force. But at the end of the day, where is the wind? Does it have a phone number, address, or even a name to be called upon? Back to that itch, for a second, if you'll bare with me and you're insistent upon reading and listening. That itch never goes away, it only grows quiet and can easily be forgotten. Like the wind, it comes when it wants, does what it needs to do, then disappears just as easily. Sometimes it gets up inside of me, and I decide to dance with is, just as chaotic..Only once it's gone, I'm the one that's behaving this way, I'm the one that has to live with the ruin. Can't blame the itch, can't blame the wind. There's no secret, no shortcut, and anyone that is offering it, especially with money involved, is hustling. And not the good sense of the word either, for to try and cheat people out of their money, when they're hungry and desperate for money.. There's a special place reserved for those people, but there's also something to be said about us, for being so foolish. So take responsibility. Do something productive and find the things that bring happiness and fulfillment. Covet those things, aye.. It's dangerous, because now we have something to protect, something we are afraid to let go of. The problem with all that "jazz" is this thing called inevitability. In the end, there will be nothing. Nothing last forever, except..NOTHING LAST FOREVER. Read that again, slowly, NOTHING. LAST. FOREVER.. That's right, an eternity of nothing. So for now enjoy this, enjoy it all, even the pain and sorrow, for to feel something at all...is to be alive and breathing. Enjoy it while it last.

 © 2019 DontFeedTheWolf

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An ever-growing collection of stories, in the harmonious echo of darkness

Special thanks: Michael Yakutis (Background)