Loud Thoughts & Insomnia

For those of you who're younger, or for those who have children, I'd like to share some wisdom and experience, if I may. (I know funny right, the dark writer, reaching out to the young ones, scary ain't it)?

Which is why I want to reach out, because of who I am and what I have gone through to get where I am. See it's taken me 30 years to gain peace, acceptance, and to be comfortable in my skin. I think others should be able to find it a lot quicker and without false "ego" builds, as that kind of security is one of the most insecure.

This is for those over-thinker types (the ones who struggle to shut their thoughts up) and mostly for those who have always felt like they don't belong. For especially now, while this world is so intent on being more "inclusive," and more than ever there is a promised community for all, I think a new type of seclusion exist. People can feel more alone than ever, thanks to the constant reminder of "community" and "inclusion" across the boards of Social Media & the internet. At the same time, there are communities for everyone, but this can also be dangerous as there are communities that "prey" on the lost souls and take advantage of them. The first one is a mantra, it's not my own, nor is it original. "I think but I am not my thoughts." Separate yourself from your thoughts, it's freeing. Easier said than done, I know, but like any muscle it needs to be worked out, in order to grow stronger. Repetition is key. Why is this one so important? Well for starters it means you can think anything you want, and not have to feel guilt, remorse, or convince yourself you are stuck with these thoughts and attached to them. It is a reminder that our thoughts come and go, but they are not who we are and we don't have to be defined by them. The second was already hinted at, with the words "repetition" and the muscle growth analogy. Routine. Healthy routines. Start simple and easy, make sure you're brushing 2x a day, at least flossing once and feel free to throw in a mouthwash after each brush. "Alright Mr. Miyagi, you're going to make us do chores before teaching us how to do karate?" Self-discipline is rewarding and it's an asset that carries over into EVERYTHING else we do. If you want to play an instrument, draw, write, sing, dance, or even be an accountant, influencer, whatever it is your heart desires. Self-discipline is the cutting edge that separates the wheat from the chaff. Now these two lessons for today aren't anything new and maybe you've heard them already, in some form of an other and it sounds like a real bummer. But here is the important thing. You have a busy mind, or your child does, and it needs constant stimulation. If you're not controlling and rerouting that stimulation into things, it will take over and find ways to keep itself entertained. Causing drama, abusing substances, starting fights, and overall self-destruction. We want to kill our ego, but we don't want to kill ourselves. Even though, at times, some of us may feel as though we do. "Suicide is a permanent solution, to a temporary problem." My grandfather taught me that one, it's not his or original, but it's always resonated and stuck with me. No one can truthfully reveal what happens when we die, but what is certain is what this life holds and what it has to offer. So make the best of it, make each day a better day and compete against only yourself, to be a better you today than you were tomorrow. For the worse thing any of us can do is spend our lives looking backwards with lust, greed, and envy of the person we used to be. That is it for now. There is more I wish to say on this subject, but I really should get back to writing my stories. I'm not yet ready to be a teacher, at least not full-time. I have lessons to share, but I also don't promise to know it all, or be above anyone else with my knowledge and experiences. Besides, I'm the quest for my Dark Tower, anyone familiar with the series will understand the reference. And like Roland, the main protagonist, my objective is to stay on the path of the beam, "all things serve the beam." I have stories to tell and share, there are always some "fun" lessons in those. But when I've told enough stories and if there is a demand, I'll do more than just offer a coffee-cup's worth of a lesson.

 © 2019 DontFeedTheWolf

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An ever-growing collection of stories, in the harmonious echo of darkness

Background artwork: Michael Yakutis 2019